I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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