can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
