Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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