How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I would ride that face into the sunset
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
