He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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