I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
