I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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