I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
