it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
