We're facebook friends in real life
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize