Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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