i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize