just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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