singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize