omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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