Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
