Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
