Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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