So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
