Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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