The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
