Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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