I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
