cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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