you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
