well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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