We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
What a dumb baby whore.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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