i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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