I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They have beer where we have blood.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize