all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
