Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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