Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
