i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
