Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
