I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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