it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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