walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Actions speak louder than pants.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
