At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
