Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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