i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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