Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
