Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
