k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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