I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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