I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
