All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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