dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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