Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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