i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
