Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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