just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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