God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
