sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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