we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
