At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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