Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
