i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
