When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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