i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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