it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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