I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
