watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
