if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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