Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
