I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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