I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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