i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
